i think disneyland is the happiest place on earth. contradiction is latin for "christopher". shyness has plagued me since I was a boy. 'say anything' is my favorite film. cactus cooler is my favorite soda. an icee is better than a slurpee. music is the only thing i enjoy. twp is my favorite band. vegetarians are sexy. janeane garofalo is my dream woman. you will never meet another person like me. the beach boys "pet sounds" is the best album ever, but not my favorite. i say the word 'fuck' way too much. i love seeing cemetaries. men hate me for no reason. i wear boxers. i am addicted to coke. is better than pepsi. every guy looks better with sideburns. i prefer lips to lips over tongue to tonsils. I was named after a character in a jane austen book.

yahoo messender: woe_is_he

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This is the part where I am supposed to list all of these great incredible things about my life. Well, I generally have a hard time seeing anything positive or good about me...

I was born in northern California. I was shy and didn't have many friends growing up. I looked towards music as my best friend at an early age. I grew up extremely fast, as a result I knew about sex & I knew that Santa wasn't real all by the age of 4.

Became a typical teenager and hated life. Became a 20-something and still hates life. I am reclusive, bitter, frightened, undesirable, shy & obnoxious. I hate people but I like animals. I eat poorly. My memory is shit. I am extremely lonely. I am celibate but maybe, not so much by my choice. I am a bad friend. I am an even worse boyfriend. I'm even a bad family member. Everything I touch becomes ruined. All in all, I think it's safe to say that I am a hideous person.


films in technicolor. going to concerts. rainy days and nights. listening to ABBA. doris day/rock hudson films. cheese pizza. synths. old country songs. jet-black hair. northern california. redwood forests. mexican food, especially guacamole. stars in the sky. tulips. animals. shopping. coastal drives. girly drinks. cooking. elvis presley films. people who have a great vocabulary. nerdy girls, especially with glasses. autumn.


new year's eve. boyfriends. the summer. ankle socks. making out in public. that fatburger isn't in northern california. excessive amounts of bumper stickers on a car. the internet. airports. andy dick. compliments. telecasters. hospitals. gold jewelry. grey shirts worn with khaki pants. body hair. when people say I remind them of somebody-and vice versa. james bond films. when people use the word 'fine' to describe somebody. mustaches. milk. talking about myself. disaster films. muffins - especially chocolate chip muffins.