Staynobody

being a fugitive has never looked so charming

#19 NORTH BY NORTHWEST

This film was Cary Grant & Alfred Hitchcock's final collaboration & by far my favorite. Hell, I'll even go as far as to saying it's my favorite Hitchcock film.

"I came"

#20 HAPPINESS

Todd Solondz makes some of the most interesting films. This film follows a family who is entirely unhappy with their lives.

"big juicy cock?"

#21 SORORITY BOYS

This raucous film is much better than you would think. It also topped my list for best films of 2002. Dildo-sword fights & crossdressers? It should have won an oscar.

Not on an evening in Roma.

Loveless with Dean Martin is not a very healthy combination.

You could easily have your way with me.

"I have to return some videotapes"

#22 AMERICAN PSYCHO

Too many great things to be said about this one.

"next month it's losers day, come back I piss on your head"

#23 THE BIG TEASE

Colin Ferguson is a great actor & an even greater writer. If you like the movies of Christopher Guest you will love this. Especially for Stig Ludwiggsen the arch-rival hairdresser of Ferguson's lovable Crawfor Mackenzie.

"let's have a bachelor party, with chicks, and guns, and firetrucks, and hookers, and drugs, and booze... all the things that make life worth living for."

#24 BACHELOR PARTY

Tom Hanks did two great things... Bosom Buddies & Bacheor Party. Adrian Zmed also did great things... Bachelor Party & .... Bachelor Party.

(For you factoids: Tom Hanks was born 23 years & 3 days before me in the same hospital by the same doctor.)

inmate 37927

I don’t do lists anymore. If you check back in all the archives I’d list everything, so in honor of my old ways, I will start doing more lists – yay! Lists are great, you can argue, you can agree, you can be persuaded & you can be so angry by people’s choices.

Every day for the next 25 days, I will reveal my all-time top 25 films! Now, I have seen a zillion films in my lifetime. Especially for those two years I spent without cable, man those were the days...

There was much brain hysteria on compiling this list & I am certain that I’ll want to change the order because I am certain I have left something off. The rating system I used for this was: quality, entertainment, longevity & times viewed.

#25 SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION

I've never met anybody who hasn't liked this movie. In fact everytime I see it, I still tear-up when Red & Andy meet on the beach.

you deserve so much more.

There is a new mp3 up for your ears, it's about as wimpy as it gets. I need recording software, some new cords, good microphones & real talent. So if you could just take that in mind before you shun my "hot jams", things will be okay.

http://www.staynobody.com/files/music/vaginapop/lofirecordings.html

my ryhme ain't done

The President woke and he called the Pope
The Pope climbed to heaven on a golden rope
P.S. the Lord raised Michaelangelo from the dead
So he can make a fresh painting of my head
Then I hung out with a king and a queen
And the queen put me down with her polo team
The way I scored points all around the clock
I had her daughter, the princess ridin my jock
I knocked the freak off like a crazy retard
Then I took a little trip into a deck of cards
The diamond jack joker and the ace of spades
Was amazed at greater Cut Creator on the fade
Then I played cards with the queen of clubs
The queen of hearts with me cold fell in love
As for the queen of diamonds, she don't like men
Because you know that a diamond is a girl's best friend
The double-trouble spade was named the deuce
And the joker acted stupid, so we gave him the news
There was 52 cards, and I met everyone
That story is over, but my rhyme ain't done

word suckaaaaaa...

Wham! Fantastic

Things I need to do:

Wax my ass - it's a bit overdue.

Buy new basketball shoes - it's time I get fit.

Buy an external hard drive - I have nightmares of my place going up in fire & I cannot take my entire record collection but if I had an external harddrive I would be able to take the next best thing. However Raymond and I were talking, maybe I should just buy doubles of my top 100 records and keep them sealed & in a more portable case. But that sounds a bit redundant.

Erase phone numbers in my telephone - it will make me sad because it's like closing the chapter on some friendships.

Sell DVD's on eBay - I am just so anti-DVD, I don't understand.

Kiss somebody - it's embarassing to share how long it's been.

Find a replacement stylus for my record player - I might just have to buy a new record player in whole, not good, people.

Listen to less Wham! - seriously, it's like 1984 all over again.

nazi street punks must die!!!

Some sick fuck spray-painted a swastika on the street in front of my driveway. With me being paranoid as is, it didn’t help matters to see the gate to my place was wide-open. Raymond asked, “Do you want me to go up and die with you?” I told him that it was okay & replied with, “why should both of us die?” He laughed got in his car & I carried on. I think someone is playing on my fears.

stay out of trouble

Something bad is about to happen. A few weeks ago I wrote about this new guy (Gene) that my aunt is seeing… In the short duration of time, her boyfriend (Larry) has found out and I do believe that he is going to kill my aunt. But I don’t think he’ll stop with killing just her, he has never liked my grandmother, my mother or me. After all, it was just a year or two ago where he wanted to fight me right in front of my uncle.

Now in case you don’t know, I live in an apartment that is right above my mother & grandmother’s house. We’ve all been on edge & I am not much for paranoia but I have been having some awful nights. My mother, a woman who is so anti-guns, has even been thinking about buying one. I know that she must be equally as paranoid to even suggest such a notion to me.

Tonight at 10:30 my aunt called my grandmother and told her that Larry was mad & breaking stuff in the house. This guy is a psycho, I assure you & he has nothing to live for & nothing to lose. Nothing has ever surprised me when it came to Larry. My aunt put herself in this position and knew it was dangerous; I don’t have too much sympathy for her but at the same time I do not want her to be harmed.

For the past week I have been trying to figure out how to leave town, find a place to stay for awhile. I just want some decent sleep is all; I cannot handle this extra anxiety. This is a scenario that I never wish upon anyone.

summertime.

While most people spend their lives trying to be different, I spend mine wishing I was more normal. We’re all the same, I suppose. We’re unhappy with what we have, who we are, or what we’ve become. Well maybe you aren’t, but I am. Less than 30 minutes away from my front door, there’s a friend who I wish I was with. But there are a few obstacles in my way. I still cannot drive very far. I got as far as Lafayette & turned around in utter shame.

I take pills to be happy, I take pills for sleeping, I take pills to calm-down, I take pills for sex & I even take pills to counter-act pills. My body is no longer mine & my mind, well my mind isn’t always there. I feel less, that is a plus, but then it makes me sad because I feel… well, missing for the most part.

--- Unrelated to my feelings ---

This strange yellow praying mantis keeps visiting my porch at night. I’ve always been a bit afraid of the mantis & potato bugs. It stems from my childhood where both species would always hang out in front of the bush near my bedroom window. I often wakeup in the morning, pull open the mini-blinds and there would be a critter just staring at me. How in the world is there people who like insects, I just don’t know?!

Anyways, at first I was afraid of getting too close to the mantis but after a few snapshots the mantis decided to “ham it up” and started posing for me. It was terribly hard to take a photo with one hand on the camera and the other holding my shoe. I was ready for that mantis to jump on my ass. The mantis kept turning its head at me, probably sizing me-up, and thinking about how many meals I’d be.

At first I was afraid of my new visitor but now I kind of like it. I mean, as long as the mantis eats other insects it could stay on the porch as long as it wants. Just like the creepy spider that lives in my porch light. Do your thing, kill insects, eat them but once you come indoors you’re life is over. I don’t tolerate indoor bugs.

Goodness my, I did not mean to talk about bugs for so long. Oh well, bugs are better than my wasted head.

supra butterfly wings

Ray is a murderer… minutes ago from our lame lunch experience (note: anything besides Arby’s & Del Taco is lame.) Raymond hit two in-flight butterflies with his car. The Two-Tailed Swallowtails were so big & beautiful & were probably playing little butterfly games and Ray’s Toyota ended their lives. Life is cruel…

Pain & Pleasure.

Fuck, I think I have blown my guitar amp. I was playing Judas Priest’s “Screaming for Vengeance” at some heavy db’s & pop! Now my amp now cuts out on me if I play too hard or too loud. That’s what I get for loving the Priest, right? I’m just too metal for my own good.

'we could be wonderful together'

I don't know if anybody watches the news or has been keeping tabs on the Scott Peterson trial. Who here wants to see Amber Frey's attorney; Gloria Allred get socked in the face?

poppin' it, vagina style.

I have a fairly large backlog of song snippets that need to be uploaded. For now, here are a few mp3's.

http://www.staynobody.com/files/music/vaginapop/lofirecordings.html

ye be warned.

dead red eyes

I am trying to function, I'll try for you – my brain is like mush… Last night around 1:30 AM Mark gets a call from a drunken Lou'ay, who broke his hand from falling - Genius! Like the fool I am, I volunteer myself to go because it would be pretty fucking weak of me to make Mark spend his last night in town by himself in the ER. I thought it couldn't be more embarrassing than to have a drunken Lou'ay in the hospital...

After Lou'ay was admitted, a group of the foulest-speaking, ghetto-ass-trash came strolling in. James H. Dean, a slightly-heavy set African American in a wheelchair (which he didn’t even need), His "bitch", and James Dean’s daughter (why she was there? Who knows?), two jumbo-sized white girls & Mario the largest black man with an Italian name. Of all the places to sit in an empty hospital they had to see right next to us & force us to endure their insane tale.

They came from Tommy-T’s comedy club where a group of “bitches” started some shit with them. They followed them into a parking lot and the girls all started fighting. Mark & I had to hear the fucking story for the next two hours over & over again. I won’t make you endure what we had to because that would be beyond cruel. However, in-between the story, I heard some of the most entertaining & awful conversation… “Does Nodose really work?”, “I have to get a tetanus shot because I kicked the curb”, “That bitch was like Dracula & shit.”, “You can’t phase James Dean, bitch”, “I thought that bitch was dead, she’s was snoring for like, 3 minutes, she got knocked-the-fuck-out”, & my favorite James Dean trying to get his 8-year-old daughter to give him the money that the tooth fairy gave her earlier that night..

For over two hours I had to sit through that shit. I was started to get really nervous when there was only one more Entertainment weekly left to read. But what’s the point, really, around four in the morning I lost the ability to concentrate, anyhow. Mark was getting really frustrated and was ready to break Lou’ay’s arm if it wasn’t already broken. We started to hate him more & more with each passing minute. He kept coming out to give us an update on his progress and he seemed happy as could be & loaded up on vicodin. I was jealous.

I feel like I have done a poor job on capturing the essence of ghetto with my telling of the story. I guess you just had to be there. God knows, I wish I hadn’t been.

I want a snowstorm.

Oh Dean Wareham why are you the bestest?

strange meetings (once again)

strange meetings
It's been a while… After 20 years of no contact, a mysterious old friend has come back into my aunt's life. She seems so utterly excited about him; it's as if she is the teenage girl that I can remember watching MTV with all those years ago. Does anyone remember "Friday night video fights"?

While listening to my aunt tell me about this gentleman, I just have to shake my head in disbelief on what she finds appealing. However, when you have had your deadbeat boyfriend live off of you for the past 12 years, anyone sounds better. Their dinner sounded promising & the way she obsessed forever about the way they exchanged numbers, she just might finally kick that bastard boyfriend out of her house.

I cannot help but wonder if something similar happens to all of us? 10, 20 years from now will someone from my past come back for me? I guess a boy could only hope. Here's to you, my girl of the future from the past.

I've never felt so hopeful.

stop/start spreading the news

I would just like to take the time to clarify a completely misguided fabrication on my being. In no way am I anti-sex or hate sex. That is completely far from the truth. The reason why I no longer engage in sexual acts is because I can no longer have meaningless sex. In no means, does this justify the notion that I do not like sex. I just haven’t found anyone I’ve wanted to sleep with in a long time.

I know you are all heartbroken now that I’ve shattered the idea of you fucking me without repercussions. Sorry, you’ll just have to get me drunk. Oh wait, I don’t drink anymore either, well fuck, how is anyone suppose to take advantage of me?