new BOYS "R" US record in september!!!!!!!

Boys "R'" US plan on releasing their first debut record for an early fall release! "Just in time for the new school year" says financial guru and manager Timmy Thompson. The group has been working hard on their dance moves & singing lessons. With the recent demise in powerhouse acts such as New Kids On The COCK, N' Stink, Backdoor Boys & 98.6 degrees - these fabulous ladykillers should be selling like hot cakes! We have the first look at the new record and it's a scorcher! Below is a preview of the album and band bios, check em' out!


1. intro

2. intro 2
3. kissing a girl with braces
4. your sister licked it, why don't you?
5. in my daddy's SUV
6. my love is on cruise control, so give me some head
7. it won't hurt so much (if you don't squirm)
8. toss me like a salad
9. drooling from my daydream
10. I like the cooter, pooter & hooters
11. pass the lubricant
13. sword fighting in her mouth
14. shout outs from the boys, to the ladies



Growing up in the ghetto for the first 3 years of his life, ghetto boy doesn't actually even remember being there. But you can't tell him that, his slang speakin', gun-totin', 40 drinkin' "black-ass" gots ta keep it real. Although he is a multi-millionaire, Ghetto boy bought an entire block in his neighborhood and imported trashy ghetto people, to live for free. He was noted on saying, "If I can't go to the ghetto, bring the ghetto to me." Ghetto boy spends most of his time smoking weed and coming up with dope lyrics for his raps in for BOYS R' US. "As I light the stage on fire/ sniffing glue can't even take you higher / this is better than the gold rush, girl / add 20 to the 40 to make u a 69er".

GHETTO BOY wears: fubu.
GHETTO BOY drinks: colt .45
GHETTO BOY likes: bitches.
GHETTO BOY listens to: new MASTER P is off the hook.
GHETTO BOY can't live without: 64 impala with hydros.
In a boys "r" us orgy GHETTO BOY is: in between two titties.


Raymondo was born with those great Latin looks and trademark bleached hair. This Latin lover only likes white girls, and gets his fill every night. Raymondo first scored when he was 5 years old. He cut his knee badly on the playground and went to see the nurse. The nurse couldn't resist his playboy charms, and the rest is history. Some say that the nurse was the love of his life, and Raymondo uses every girl he encounters to get back at the cruelty god has given him.

SUAVE BOY wears: Versace and Blazer coats with no shirt underneath.
SUAVE BOY drinks: whatever the lady is having.
SUAVE BOY likes: blondes.
SUAVE BOY listens to: PURE MOODS volume I & II
SUAVE BOY can't live without: his gold crucifix.
In a boys "r" us orgy SUAVE BOY is: forcing two women to make out, while he tags one of their sisters.


HADAR is a very laid back guy on most occasions, and completely opposite on others. It all depends on what drugs DOPE BOY is taking at the time. Known for his stage antics as a high-octane performer. DOPE BOY always gets the crowd hyped. DOPE BOY also likes a wide variety of music, and will be releasing a solo album in June. He was quoted on saying; "It's like high-voltage techno rave music, with a splash of Grateful Dead, Hendrix, the Doors with a twist of Rick James". Although he makes just as much money as the rest of the members, DOPE BOY is usually seen in rags, due to his excessive drug habit.

DOPE BOY wears: baggy pants & a poncho.
DOPE BOY drinks: anything, I always have cottonmouth.
DOPE BOY likes: angel dust, meth, weed, pcp, heroin, amphetamines, X, speed, LSD & anything the doctor prescribes.
DOPE BOY listens to: anything drug-influenced.
DOPE BOY can't live without: his stash.
In a boys "r" us orgy DOPE BOY is: shivering naked in the corner, needing a fix.


With his bookish charms, and sophisticated manner, BOY GENIUS is a fan of the older ladies. Being a privileged white kid was never hard for the well-tempered, well-read, charming BOY GENIUS. By the time he was 19 he had already graduated college with a master's from Stanford. BOY genius choreographs all the BOYS "R" US dance moves, for he studied Ballet in Russia from the great Kirov school of ballet.


BOY GENIUS wears: a cardigan of varied color.
BOY GENIUS drinks: a nice chardonnay.
BOY GENIUS likes: a good book on a rainy night.
BOY GENIUS listens to: Monteverdi
BOY GENIUS can't live without: his 1st edition novels.
In a boys "r" us orgy BOY GENIUS is: quickly thumbing through the Kama Sutra.


Don't let his feminine name fool you, this is the toughest cookie in the batch. This macho beefcake doesn't take shit from anyone, including his own mother. BAD BOY has a temper that gives him the added depth to this great band. Just last week, he drove his motorcycle (a ninja) on the stage and started whipping donuts, and fell off and broke his leg. When paramedics rushed the stage to help LOUAY, he sucker punched one of them and had to be restrained by 3 paramedics and 2 cops. BAD BOY party's hard, and lives life to the fullest, making him one of the girl's favorite BOYS "R" US member. When not on stage or lighting hotel rooms on fire, he can be seen with real life best friend Donny Wahlberg.


BAD BOY wears: backward hats & leather jackets.
BAD BOY drinks: Jack Daniels.
BAD BOY likes: to trash the place.
BAD BOY can't live without: his stiletto.
In a boys "r" us orgy BAD BOY is: Slut-Pumping.


WILD BOY experiences extreme highs & lows due to a chemical imbalance. WILD BOY once ran away at the age of 8 and when he returned a year later, he never was the same. Some say he was, "raised by wolves" & sometimes he barks at the moon while on tour. WILD BOY has animalistic traits like sneering at the public, and animals fear him. He has been prosecuted on account of 17 times for pissing in public, usually on tires or buildings. Previous girlfriends have stated that WILD BOY likes to be petted, and likes to be fed raw meat in bed.


WILD BOY wears: no deodorant.
WILD BOY drinks: bowls of water.
WILD BOY likes: Jack London novels.
WILD BOY listens to: whistles.
WILD BOY can't live without: his studded collar.
In a boys "r" us orgy WILD BOY is: on all fours.


ALTAR BOY is very religious and is the local favorite whenever BOYS "R" US goes on tour in the Bible belt. ALTAR BOY left his life in the clergy after a priest tried to get him to play naked hopscotch. ALTAR BOY plans on cleaning up the BOYS "R" US act with hopes of crossing over to contemporary Christian music. ALTAR BOY goes to bed every night at 10 PM & wakes up at 6AM, and always prays for the sins of his band mates.


ALTAR BOY wears: a rosary.
ALTAR BOY drinks: soda pop.
ALTAR BOY likes: books on western religion.
ALTAR BOY can't live without: confession.
In a boy's r' us orgy ALTAR BOY is: saving it.