PAUL aka GHETTO
Growing up in the ghetto for the first 3 years of his life, ghetto boy
doesn't actually even remember being there. But you can't tell him that,
his slang speakin', gun-totin', 40 drinkin' "black-ass" gots
ta keep it real. Although he is a multi-millionaire, Ghetto boy bought
an entire block in his neighborhood and imported trashy ghetto people,
to live for free. He was noted on saying, "If I can't go to the ghetto,
bring the ghetto to me." Ghetto boy spends most of his time smoking
weed and coming up with dope lyrics for his raps in for BOYS R' US. "As
I light the stage on fire/ sniffing glue can't even take you higher /
this is better than the gold rush, girl / add 20 to the 40 to make u a
GHETTO BOY drinks: colt .45
GHETTO BOY likes: bitches.
GHETTO BOY listens to: new MASTER P is off the hook.
GHETTO BOY can't live without: 64 impala with hydros.
In a boys "r" us orgy GHETTO BOY is: in between two titties.
RAYMONDO aka SUAVE
Raymondo was born with those great Latin looks and trademark bleached
hair. This Latin lover only likes white girls, and gets his fill every
night. Raymondo first scored when he was 5 years old. He cut his knee
badly on the playground and went to see the nurse. The nurse couldn't
resist his playboy charms, and the rest is history. Some say that the
nurse was the love of his life, and Raymondo uses every girl he encounters
to get back at the cruelty god has given him.
wears: Versace and Blazer coats with no shirt underneath.
SUAVE BOY drinks: whatever the lady is having.
SUAVE BOY likes: blondes.
SUAVE BOY listens to: PURE MOODS volume I & II
SUAVE BOY can't live without: his gold crucifix.
In a boys "r" us orgy SUAVE BOY is: forcing two women to
make out, while he tags one of their sisters.
HADAR aka DOPE
HADAR is a very laid back guy on most occasions, and completely opposite
on others. It all depends on what drugs DOPE BOY is taking at the time.
Known for his stage antics as a high-octane performer. DOPE BOY always
gets the crowd hyped. DOPE BOY also likes a wide variety of music, and
will be releasing a solo album in June. He was quoted on saying; "It's
like high-voltage techno rave music, with a splash of Grateful Dead, Hendrix,
the Doors with a twist of Rick James". Although he makes just as
much money as the rest of the members, DOPE BOY is usually seen in rags,
due to his excessive drug habit.
wears: baggy pants & a poncho.
DOPE BOY drinks: anything, I always have cottonmouth.
DOPE BOY likes: angel dust, meth, weed, pcp, heroin, amphetamines,
X, speed, LSD & anything the doctor prescribes.
DOPE BOY listens to: anything drug-influenced.
DOPE BOY can't live without: his stash.
In a boys "r" us orgy DOPE BOY is: shivering naked in the
corner, needing a fix.
DUSTIN aka BOY
With his bookish charms, and sophisticated manner, BOY GENIUS is a fan
of the older ladies. Being a privileged white kid was never hard for the
well-tempered, well-read, charming BOY GENIUS. By the time he was 19 he
had already graduated college with a master's from Stanford. BOY genius
choreographs all the BOYS "R" US dance moves, for he studied
Ballet in Russia from the great Kirov school of ballet.
wears: a cardigan of varied color.
BOY GENIUS drinks: a nice chardonnay.
BOY GENIUS likes: a good book on a rainy night.
BOY GENIUS listens to: Monteverdi
BOY GENIUS can't live without: his 1st edition novels.
In a boys "r" us orgy BOY GENIUS is: quickly thumbing through
the Kama Sutra.
LOUAY aka BAD BOY
Don't let his feminine name fool you, this is the toughest cookie in the
batch. This macho beefcake doesn't take shit from anyone, including his
own mother. BAD BOY has a temper that gives him the added depth to this
great band. Just last week, he drove his motorcycle (a ninja) on the stage
and started whipping donuts, and fell off and broke his leg. When paramedics
rushed the stage to help LOUAY, he sucker punched one of them and had
to be restrained by 3 paramedics and 2 cops. BAD BOY party's hard, and
lives life to the fullest, making him one of the girl's favorite BOYS
"R" US member. When not on stage or lighting hotel rooms on
fire, he can be seen with real life best friend Donny Wahlberg.
BAD BOY wears:
backward hats & leather jackets.
BAD BOY drinks: Jack Daniels.
BAD BOY likes: to trash the place.
BAD BOY listens to: DMX & DAVID LEE ROTH.
BAD BOY can't live without: his stiletto.
In a boys "r" us orgy BAD BOY is: Slut-Pumping.
CHRIS aka WILD
WILD BOY experiences extreme highs & lows due to a chemical imbalance.
WILD BOY once ran away at the age of 8 and when he returned a year later,
he never was the same. Some say he was, "raised by wolves" &
sometimes he barks at the moon while on tour. WILD BOY has animalistic
traits like sneering at the public, and animals fear him. He has been
prosecuted on account of 17 times for pissing in public, usually on tires
or buildings. Previous girlfriends have stated that WILD BOY likes to
be petted, and likes to be fed raw meat in bed.
wears: no deodorant.
WILD BOY drinks: bowls of water.
WILD BOY likes: Jack London novels.
WILD BOY listens to: whistles.
WILD BOY can't live without: his studded collar.
In a boys "r" us orgy WILD BOY is: on all fours.
NICK aka ALTAR
ALTAR BOY is very religious and is the local favorite whenever BOYS "R"
US goes on tour in the Bible belt. ALTAR BOY left his life in the clergy
after a priest tried to get him to play naked hopscotch. ALTAR BOY plans
on cleaning up the BOYS "R" US act with hopes of crossing over
to contemporary Christian music. ALTAR BOY goes to bed every night at
10 PM & wakes up at 6AM, and always prays for the sins of his band
wears: a rosary.
ALTAR BOY drinks: soda pop.
ALTAR BOY likes: books on western religion.
ALTAR BOY listens to: DC TALK & JARS OF CLAY
ALTAR BOY can't live without: confession.
In a boy's r' us orgy ALTAR BOY is: saving it.