Staynobody

those damn romans

This shouldnât be so hard but it is. After mixing up the date for my Doctorâs appointment I finally have decided to obtain a wall calendar. This is a huge step for me, I donât even have clocks in my apartment - I donât believe in time & I am afraid if I did have a clock Iâd stare at the time constantly. I am still bothered that my friends fix the clock on the microwave. Next thing you know theyâll buy me a mirror because apparently one small medicine cabinet mirror is not enough. Truth is, I sometimes go days without looking in the mirror. Is that really so strange?

Back to my calendar dilemma: I was offered free calendars left & right by people but they were all heinous looking. The last thing I want to do is look at celebrities with their fucking dogs. With the idea of animal calendars I decided to look for a Bat or Killer Whale calendar. My search for the bats was a bust & online I have found plenty of killer whale calendars. However the calendar, plus the shipping is nearly twenty bucks. Now the money is not the issue, the issue is paying for something as damn ugly as a calendar. There is no such thing as a handsome calendar or a handsome spot on the wall for a calendar.

I could get a PDA but thatâs all I need more electronic junk around the house. I could use Outlook but my computer is being hacked into as we speak. I could get one of those appointment books but they look too similar to my diary, songbook & the notebook that I am writing my sex novel in. Wall calendar seems like my best bet. I could put the calendar in my closet, next to my super-queer Morrissey poster. It could be my closet of shame, Morrissey, all of my DVDâs, pornography (of the digital only variety) & my calendar.

God, I feel so strange, like I am about to sell-out to the world of people who keep time & track of life. Next thing you know Iâll be buying a proper alarm clock & Tivo.

P.S. I have lost the ability to even think.